The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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