well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
