What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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