Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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