I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
