this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
