well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
