So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Every concussion has its silver lining
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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