Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
40s are totally the cure
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
