The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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