He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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