Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
