i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
