From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
