No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
