i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
