"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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