So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
