is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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