If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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