I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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