You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
