Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
