Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
