Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
