Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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