we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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