i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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