We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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