What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
