never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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