Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
God, I missed his penis.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
