he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
