he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
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