apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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