there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
