im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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