We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize