swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
