But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
