You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
