they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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