If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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