I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
