oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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