Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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