Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
