My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
