Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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