She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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