batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
