so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
