Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
