just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
