We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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