O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
