plz talk dirty to me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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