Moan for me like Helen Keller
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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