Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
