I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
high people should be assigned attendants
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
