dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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